I have been flying out to Seattle monthly for work. I kept telling myself that I’ll get down and explore Oregon for a couple of days. After all, is was one of the last states I had not been to. Well, months went by and I kept getting caught up in Seattle and not making it down. Then August comes and we have our last corporate meeting in Seattle for the foreseeable future, so I knew I had to make it work on this trip.
After three 12+ hour days of work, happy hours, team dinners, and team activities I was exhausted. I felt a day spent in the hotel bed ordering bad movies and door dashing food was more the vibe but I knew in the long run I’d be happier if I forced myself down to Oregon.
I have been a big fan of using car sharing apps like Turo to find cool rides for a fair price and it wasn’t long in my search before I saw a mini-cooper. I always thought their cars looked a little funny but would be a blast to drive.
Still a little hungover from the last few nights, I went to pick up my new ride. I didn’t really have any plans, I just knew I needed to be back for my return flight home from Seattle in a couple days.
Once I hopped in the mini coop, I pulled up the map to see where I could go. It looked like highway 101 followed along the coast line which was good enough for me.
The highway was magnificent, while driving through Washington there was a wall of 50-foot-tall longleaf pine trees on both sides of me. Almost as soon as you cross the bridge into Oregon, you are gob smacked with non-stop views of Oregon’s coast line as this highway continues to run parallel to for what seems to be forever.
After about 5 hours of driving, absorbing the smell of salt water, listening to the birds chirping and sometimes the waves crashing, I reached a small town called Seaside. It was about 5pm now and I thought with this town’s proximity to the beach that this would be the spot I stay the night.
I bounced from hotel to hotel discovering that the least expensive hotel was a motel 6 for over $300. Airbnb’s were over $500. And the next closest town…. Well there wasn’t a next close town.
For me when traveling solo, paying this kind of money for an accommodation is just out of the question. I never really had another plan but usually I’ll just figure it out along the way because I certainly couldn’t support hotels charging these prices. And when you have a rental car with you the worst case scenario is I sleep in the car but surely I could figure something out.
With that, I put finding a bed on the back burner and went to dinner. My expectation for dinner was seafood specifically oysters as we are on the west coast and I passed a sign that specifically said “Oyster Capital of the World” Given this sign was in front of a place that appeared abandoned, regardless I still had high expectations for their oysters.
I went to the highest review restaurant in Seaside, a restaurant that didn’t even have a bar…
There were plenty of two seat tables open to sit, but for some reason the hostess sat me at a table for 6, perhaps she enjoyed the humor of a lone diner holding down a table for 6 by himself or maybe I just looked that hungry. Behind where I saw was a lively family of 8 sharing laughs and enjoying themselves, to my left was a lovely group of 3 older folks that were just absolutely taken by how lovely the restaurant was. The two older ladies insisted their male counterpart would sit next to the window because they wanted him to people watch and describe to them what he saw.
Directly in front of me was a man sitting by himself as well, he had a full beer in hand, a empty beer in front of him, and two plates he appeared disinterested in.
The waitress and I are having a back and forth about the oysters, see I didn’t even look at the menu as I knew how I wanted the meal to start. I asked for water and 2 dozen oysters. I was visually taken aback when she asked how I wanted my Oysters. Confused, I asked what she meant. And she asked if I wanted them fried, blacked, baked, or raw.
Still a bit confused because having oysters any other way than raw on the half shell is nothing more than a cardinal sin, but I continued raw on the half shell please.
She said well we can do them raw but we don’t have them on the half shell.
I take a moment to think out loud. “well, oysters naturally come ermmm in the shell.” How do you serve raw oysters without them being in the shell?”
“Oh we bring them out on a plate, and most people eat them with crackers” she said as if I had never eaten oysters.
The waitress and I both fall silent for a moment while I’m trying to process what I just heard, they shuck oyster and serve them on a plate instead of the natural plate that is the shell?
I said to the waitress, retract that order and please let me have a moment.
The man eating lonesome across from me waits for her to leave before leaning in and saying whatever you do don’t get the crab cakes.
I asked what he did recommend getting, before he chuckled and said, I’d recommend not getting the crab cakes, a side of toast, or their clams”. That’s all I had hear but I’d imagine everything else on the menu had to be better. But the beer’s good” he said quite contently.
I reached my hand over to my table offering to meet half way and say “My name is Nick”.
He introduced himself as Joe saying he came down from Washington for the upcoming surf competition. He wanted to try these waves before the competition started.
I go on to shared I’m from Texas, was in Seattle for work and just went exploring a bit.
The waitress came back and I eventually decided to try the deep-fried oysters of which she highly recommended.
Throughout the meal, Joe and I continued to talk across our tables, I could tell he was slowly drinking his beer eagerly waiting for me to finish my food, hoping I’d offer a suggestion of something to do.
While I didn’t mind talk to Joe through dinner and enjoying the conversations and meeting someone new, I had now ordered pie and wanted to curb our conversations so I could enjoy my dessert myself.
I told Joe to take my number and him and I should link up tonight for a drink somewhere. He agreed, took my number, and immediately left saying he would catch up with me later.
The waitress brought over a Strawberry cream cheese pie, which not only did not sound good, it did not look good, and the rest of their food had dropped any expectations I had of this pie to an all time low.
The pie that came out looked like a once happy pie that was bright and pink but had gone through a state of depression and now just looked like a sad droopy pie looking for someone to put it out of its misery.
You know that moment when you are squirting whipped cream from the can and it nears empty where the final remnants of the cream becomes airier and lighter. Well that’s entire what this pie was, combined with a jiffy crust.
To be honest, and I hate to say it.
But I’d be damned if this pie didn’t taste great.
When the waitress came back, I was excited to have something to praise and talk highly about to show my appreciation for their work.
I closed out and decided I need to check out the beach before it gets too dark.
I walked through a light rain for a few minutes and about a block away from the beach I could see the water when I heard “Nick from across the street”
It was Joe, thrilled to see me and quickly asked if I wanted to get a drink. I suggested I wanted to check out the beach first.
He quickly said, "Oh, I was just there but I’ll head over there with you."
We came up to the beach which to my surprise was quite large. I’d guess 50 yards or so of sand before you got to the water and the beach went on for farther than I could see. The beach wasn’t crowded but there were plenty of people walking around enjoying themselves despite the rain starting to pick up.
I have seen enough. I looked to Joe and suggest grabbing a drink somewhere
We found a local brewery right in the heart of all the shops and restaurants in this city.
The brewery was deceivingly big. We walked in and saw the bar, but what was intrigueing you could walk down stairs that head loungers with small tables along the way leading to a large 200” inch project of the game. It’s as if a sports bar and movie theatre combined and started making their own beer.
I order a sampler flight of 6 different beers while Joe goes straight into his chosen beer.
The sampler flight was really a moot point as Joe, the bar tender, and myself became so entranced in conversation that I could never really enjoy the uniqueness of each beer, but that’s ok because I was really enjoying the conversation around the upcoming football season, the reasons for the high hotel cost in the area, and just general life of the bar tender day to day.
At this point, it has gotten dark out and I’m starting to think of where I’m actually going to sleep tonight.
The thought was a fleeting one as I heard Joe say to the bar tender.
“Can we get two shots of tequila? And throw them on my tab!"
As fast as those shots came we threw them back. As the last drop of tequila hits the back of my throat, I bite into the lime for a sweet relief as I hear Joe say
“Two more”
I shout out to the waitress that you can put these on my tab.
Joe was so bewildered at the fact I was going to pay for my own shots that started sharing with me how nice it was to have a friend that could support himself. He went on to say that now he’s making $100k and his friends were still struggling it was on him to keep the good times going.
Joe was seemingly drunk already, which happened pretty quick, especially for a guy his size.
Joe looked at me and said I get the impression you’re not much of a drinker so you just do you bud.
While Joe was probably being sincere and nice (maybe not), I certainly wasn’t going to walk away from a shot. I held the shot towards him
Joe excitedly tips his shot towards me for a cheers and says “to new friendships”
And we threw back another.
Joe with speed and force returned his shot glass to the bar he’s simultaneous jolts a look at me and says, "You know what we should do tonight? Start a fire on the beach.
As quick as he exerted his requested I responded “let’s do it”
He looked at me puzzled and said “I thought I was going to have to talk you into that you. You’re a tough guy to figure out”
I told Joe let’s take a look at what’s going on at the beach and I’m sure there’s a fire going on we can hop in at.
It’s almost completely dark now and we have moved down towards the beach where we stand at the end of the sidewalk overlooking the sand and water.
I count 14 fires going, I'm trying to convince Joe let’s just go join someone else’s group.
He’s so adamant about building our own fire claiming everyone’s going to ask who built the fire and how cool it would be when we can say we were the ones that started it.
I really didn’t understand his mindset here, but I was confident that if we built a fire we could find a group to join us. I later also found out how right Joe was about starting the fire
We go to the local market about half the size of a 7/11 and maybe 30 feet from the beach. Joe says to me I’ll grab everything you just see what the clerk is doing tonight. I look over to see this beautiful woman maybe mid-20s, with a smile that would melt you. I didn’t even acknowledge Joe but simply started walking towards her.
Now Joe doesn’t know this but I have absolutely no game, no finesse, or anything. The last girl I dated said my game was having no game at all, just being straight to the point and I don’t think that was a compliment
I went up to the clerk and introduced myself mentioning I was just passing through, we talked for a minute about building a fire, how late the store was open and that she was closing expecting to get off around 2:00am.
“So, what, you’re going to ask me to come and join the fire when I get off? Because I get that all the time” she said in a amused way.
I responded with, “never by me” As if there was something intriguing about myself.
She smirked and giggled before shyly saying we will see.
We both knew at the time that meant no but I’d likely be back several more times to pick up more firewood too so the conversation would be sure to continue then.
Around that time joe flops down blankets, ingredients for smores, a 30 pack of beer, chips, matches, and says we will get 6 bundles of woods.
It was clear Joe was expecting a lot of people for our bonfire, ironically in a place where neither of us knew anyone.
We checked out and walked to the beach. Joe asked what happened with her?
I said oh, she’s coming. Probably about 2:30.
She said that?
“Nope”
Joe and I chose our location, close enough to see the stars and moon light up the water and not too far from the walking path to welcome others.
We got the fire up and going in no time.
It was just Joe and I for awhile, Joe was telling me about his upcoming surf competition and asked how much I surfed before.
Now I had only surfed once before on small waves in Costa Rica and with a guide but I loved it, and eagerly looked forward to the next time I could surf.
It wasn’t long before Joe offered up his spare surf board to ride the waves in the morning before I went back to Seattle. He said if we did it we’d have to go at sunrise to get me back on time.
While I was excited by his offer I knew how challenging it would be, I didn’t have a wet suit with me and the Oregon waters were cold, rough, and rocky, but hell tomorrow is a whole other day, who knows what could happen.
Right now, we are focused on getting more company to our fire.
Joe and I had very different ways of communicating.
I’m a bit quieter, intimate, unassuming.
He was loud, brash, and intrusive. Often yelling at people walking 10 yards away to come join us.
I couldn’t believe how many people came over due to Joe’s shouting invites, most came and went after a few minutes. Each person that came by always asked who started the fire like it was a inside joke I never got.
I then bounced around to a couple fires trying to get others to join but for the most part people were reserved to their groups.
Eventually, we noticed a young woman about in her early 20s about 15 feet away, standing awkwardly looking at us. We both must of noticed her at the same time because we almost jumped when we saw her like she was a ghost appearing out of nowhere.
She asked, can I join you?
Joe leaped out of his seat and introduced himself as J money, something I had not previously heard from him. She introduced herself as Rachel, stating she was here with her family but they already went to sleep.
Others came and went but reach stayed for along time, several hours in fact. We went back and forth drinking, taking shots, singing, rapping, telling stories, until someone asked what we were all really doing here then things got real serious, real quick.
There is something about when a group full of strangers get together where people start sharing their strongest emotions, deepest fears, or current struggles. Perhaps, they are not afraid of being judged because they could simply walk away and never see or speak to the person again. Or maybe they are just looking for someone like them, someone who can relate. I’m never sure of the reason, but I know more complete strangers have opened up to me more than have good friends and I am always happy about it. Because I’m sure they need it, but I personally love authenticity, people who are being real about who they are and well too many people try to cover themselves up with what they think others want to see.
Rachel continues to tell us she was here on vacation with her family but it was to celebrate. It was to celebrate her getting out of the mental hospital.
Joe quickly let out a remorseful sigh “I remember those days”
“Did they put you in a straight jacket too? It’s stupid that they think a straight jacket is going to help anything. “Joe asked
Already surprised by hearing Rachel, my eyes shot to Joe in astonishment.
I thought, what were these people in the mental hospital for? Is everything ok now? Is there something I should be worried about?
Rachel talked about why she was there. She was there because people didn’t understand her. Her family couldn’t relate or recognize she was different so doctors had to put a label on her to make others feel more comfortable.
Joe went on said “Yup, everyone’s got to have an answer for everything. They said the same shit to me when I was a kid. They said I wouldn’t be able to get through school or even maintain a job but now look at me I have a job making almost $500,000 (a number that started at $100,000 and grew by $100,000 with each person he told that night) I have my own house, and I just picked up and came her. Met this guy and we started a fire, like our own fire on a whim at the beach with a stranger. I still don’t get the significance of the fire. My advice is you’re eventually going to have to distance yourself from those that are putting labels on you. And that’s hard, because they do love you and have good intentions, but you need to find who you are and live your life. There will be a time where you can bring them back but you need to stand on your own. “
Joe went on: 'The fact is everyone is still fighting battles and life is never going to be perfect."
Rachel enthusiastically asked, what are you battling?
Joe shared that he has been partying every day for the last month, with pretty much all the drugs you could think of, he did more cocaine in the last month than money he made the previous year. He would go days without sleep, just constant partying.
I piped in, so how did you get here?
“I was taking a piss at a party, scrolling through Instagram and saw this surf competition and thought this was my moment to escape. “
He continued “Went home and packed my bags and came here. Life is a whole lot simpler on the water.”
I felt the attention move to me as the energy has very much shifted to me as an opportunity to share
Imposter syndrome has set in, and I have not yet had these periods of such negative intensity. I knew if I didn’t share it would make Rachel and Joe uncomfortable but surely if I shared a story of such insignificance it wouldn’t be received well either. I feel incredibly blessed to have the life I have so it was difficult to relate.
So what am I supposed to say here?
Well, it doesn’t matter because something is about to happen. Something so odd that if it didn’t happen to me I probably wouldn’t believe it happened to whoever it was that was telling me.
But here on the beach in the small town of seaside at about 2:00am, there was a large commotion behind us. It was a group of about a dozen people. 11 Girls and one guy playing loud music carrying a speaker and singing and dancing the whole way down the beach.
Joe and I looked at each other like we just struck gold, after all we hadn’t seen anyone on the beach for quite some time.
Joe looked back to the group and shouted "come join us at the fire!"
The girls pointed towards us but continued on, Joe looked back at me and said you’re up.
So I began to walk over there.
I introduced myself only to discover this was a group of Thai and Vietnamese women (and one guy) who were celebrating one of the girl’s birthdays.
I invited them to join us at the fire, offering up warmth of the fire, beer, and smores.
This group of rowdy women bumped and grinded the whole way back to the fire.
As soon as we got back to the fire Joe leaned in and said maybe he was still on drugs, I chuckled and said no it’s real.
The birthday girl immediately asked “who started this fire” Still unsure why so many people asked this throughout the night.
Joe used this as an opportunity to introduce himself saying him and I started the fire.
Rachel, uninterested in the new group, immediately left, not even a goodbye, leaving just as swiftly as she came.
These gorgeous women, Joe, and myself partied for the next few hours.
These girls had never even roasted marshmallows before.
I insisted Joe showed them the proper way to eat a marshmallow. He asked what is the proper way?
I said you have to wait till the marshmallow is warm and gooey, then you and another person, each on a different side of the stick, simultaneously eat the one marshmallow together.
While clearly, I made this up Joe, said “oh ya that way”. Him and the birthday girl shared a marshmallow before she danced and cheered she that she had her first campfire marshmallow.
You’re welcome Joe.
Eventually, half of their group went back to the hotel and it was just 7 of us left.
We laid around the fire on our blankets for a bit longer before dozing off.
I woke up an hour or so later to the sunrise, 6 beautiful women, joe and myself bundled up snoozing with the last of the fire burning out.
I get up and stand over Joe who has his arm around one of the girls, I begin shaking him trying to wake him up.
He eventually groans “what” without ever opening his eyes.
I said “hey man, do you still wanna surf?”
He said with great exasperation “god no, just let me sleep before this hangover kicks in."
I continued with him, and asked if he mind if I used his board.
He tells me where his car is and to just put it back when I’m done.
And just like that I went and got the board and I hit the waves on the beautiful Oregon coast at sunrise. The water was in the low 60s with no wetsuit and it was damn cold, well too cold for me out there and I didn’t last long.
I was probably out there maybe 30 minutes before packing it in, heading back up the beach, saying my goodbyes to the remainder of the cuddle puddle who were all still fast asleep. I hopped in my car and started driving towards a local state park when I saw a surf shop that had wet suits hanging from their awning.
It wasn’t even 7am yet, I couldn’t believe they were open. This was an opportunity to get back on the water comfortably.
I quickly pulled in and as soon as I hopped out of my car there was a golden retriever waiting to greet me.
A shout from inside the building said how big of a board do you need?
I stumbled across my words summoning the voice to say “ummm I’m new, just wanted to give it a try for a couple hours before catching my flight.”
That was all she needed to hear – she grabbed one of the largest boards they had and started putting it on top of my mini coop, she grabbed a wet suit and some boots. Said in a hurry, “full rental package runs $70, don’t bring sand back to the shop.”
She suggested that if I only had a couple hours that I should I take a right at the next light and follow the other surfers to that beach, you’ll see plenty in the water already as I was getting a late start.
It was just a a few short minutes to pull up to a ridge of cars parked on an overlook that perched over the water with a couple dozen surfers already in the water.
The water made a U Shape. To the left of the water was 100 yards or so of rock, the right side another 100 yards of sand.
I took the very last spot in the row of cars, quite the walk either down through the rocks to the water or walking the long way around the road to the beach with a 10-foot board in hand.
I noticed as I was getting ready there was an older, rusted out SUV next to me still running. The back seat to the trunk was full of stuff as if the owner was moving somewhere. There was a someone asleep in the passenger seat but a woman probably in her late 40’s watching intently over the surfers. Almost like her child was surfing and she was watching not out of fear or anxiety as we were well too far away to help if a surfer needed it but it felt like she was watching out of admiration.
After I got ready, I looked at her once more, noticed her window was rolled down and asked if she would take a photo of me.
She found this quite amusing and let out well too many chuckles before agreeing.
She talked me through the best way to enter the water but the verbiage was quite difficult to understand. I was able to gather through her speaking that I should go down through the rocks, something the surf shop advised me not to do because of the rip currents.
But there was something about the way she was watching the ocean that gave me a undeserved trust in her so I went for it.
I lugged this 10 foot surf board on my head down this hill of loose rocking, stumbling all too frequently knowing I was being watched by the lady at the top of the hill. As I approached the bottom of the hill the small loose rocks became large jagged stones that I cheerfully hopped between bringing back memories of playing hopscotch as a kid.
I put one foot into the water before taking a second step, catching my foot in a rock and falling straight in.
To my delight, I celebrate the ingenuity of the person who created the wetsuit. Water that was so cold I couldn’t stand just as little as an hour before, now was perfectly manageable.
Small waves are already crashing against me pushing me towards those jagged rocks so I quickly began to walk out into the ocean pulling my board along.
With water about up to my chest now and waves pushing me back every 20 seconds, I hopped on my board before quickly sliding off the other side. Oops.
I hopped back on and began to paddle out. I paddled hard for what felt like 20 minutes but I’m sure it was no longer than 2 minutes before taking account of where I was, as soon as I stopped paddling I was pushed back another 5 feet. These waves are getting bigger now, perhaps 4-foot swells, and there is no stopping until I get past them, or I simply would lose all progress.
I take a look back to see how far I have made it from shore, to my delight I’m probably 60 feet out. Maybe half way to the other surfers.
With the waves now gaining in size pummeling me against my board and me already being completely exhausted, I decide it’s time to ride one. I turn the board around, prepare myself to push off the board, stand up at just the right time, and ride the wave cutting the board towards the sandy beach. Well, that may have been a bit optimistic.
With the waves coming, I go to push off the board and my arms are like surrender like jello, exhausted from paddling out. I look at my arms in bewilderment like I just put in new batteries into a flashlight and they are already dead. I couldn’t believe it.
I waited for the next wave, and with every bit of muscle in me and with the power of a thousand suns, I lunged up, throwing myself in an upright stance on the board.
I rode the wave just long enough to say to myself I did it, I’m doing it! before crashing and getting pummeled by the next wave that follows.
Unfortunately, I went the wrong way and now I’m further away from the sandy beach and now I’m being sucked in by a rip tide.
The waves are crashing into me from one direction, while the rip tide is pulling me in another. Neither of the directions are where I want to go.
I paddled as hard as I could against the waves and perpendicular to the rip current. This was by far the strongest rip current I have seen. While paddling my heart out, I thought to myself thank goodness I have the board to float on, because if I was just swimming I would never make it out of here.
I summoned more energy than I thought I had to get out of there but eventually I got through the rip and started paddling parallel to the waves to avoid getting caught in that again.
Once I was comfortable, I rolled on to my back on top of the board and just breathed, heavily, until the board took me to the jagged rocked shoreline.
Exhausted and in need of a break I was ready to go back to the car.
But I was too exhausted to climb this rocky hill or perhaps too embarrassed to interact with the woman I knew was waiting for me at the top, so I decided to sprawl across a large rock, regain my energy and watch the other surfers ( who I never made it out to). The whole experience took just over an hour.
Eventually I stumbled on my way back to my car, and that lady was still there. Her passenger was still asleep.
She didn’t say a word to me but I could feel the tension between us. She had something to say but perhaps didn’t want to offer unsolicited advice.
I’m sitting on the hood of my car staring into the waves, she’s remains in her car just a few feet next to me. I’m someone who can enjoy long periods of silence and awkwardness but this tension was just too much, I was ready for what she had to say.
I eventually chirped up saying “well, those waves kicked my ass.”
She shot a look at me before proceeding to berate me for the next 2 straight minutes. So much so that I thought maybe staying in the the rip tide would have been a better idea.
To give you a small taste of what she said
“Why would you go right into where she was pissed off? I mean if you go closer to the bend of the U where she's just a little mischievous you’ll still get slammed but it will at least slam you into where you want to go. If you hiked around the bend and went to the point of the U then you will have a long hard swim against the rips but have some fucking heart and push it because she’ll split you right into the most glorious 5 footers. But you, nooooo, you decided it was a good idea to swim straight into the big waves, the hardest waves there are, where you can’t even stop and take a break or you’ll get thrown right into the rips. I don’t even know how you made it as far as you did because she was trying to punish you the whole way. Do you think you can take on your mother or something?” This is where she stopped and to my surprise was looking for an actual answer.
With all the commotion, we apparently woke up her passenger who turned over and chimed up saying “mom, he’s not a surfer, he was just trying it. There’s nothing wrong with that, before he rolled back over and went to sleep.”
I imagine this was a conversation they both had with each other before, probably multiple times.
I was kind of in shock, not because this lady laid into me so much but because right then I realized the whole time she’s been here she hadn’t been watching someone. She’s been watching the ocean or as she puts it “mother”. She’s been studying the waves, the entry points, where to ride them once you stand up. She had back up plans and once she got in the water things were a bit different than anticipated.
There was a level of depth in studying the water before you got in that simply never occurred to me, a level of depth I didn’t know existed. And it was refreshing, and inspiring to hear that there was a much easier way than the way I approached surfing.
Now maybe because my body was completely exhausted or because the hangover from the night before kicked in or because I slept on a towel in the sand the night before, or because I only got maybe an hour and a half of sleep, or maybe because I still have a 3 hour drive to go to catch my flight, or maybe because I was just berated for the last few minutes BUT if not one of those reasons was enough surely all of them was enough for me to call it quits.
I packed up, drove back to Seattle, no shower and was still covered in ocean grime.
Once I got to the airport, I went through security, and took off my shoes for sand to pour right out of them. By the time I got to my gate, boarding had already started so I could walk right on. I found my seat only to fall asleep before the plane took off and I woke back up when the wheels touched down in Austin.
As I landed, I saw a text from Joe that said dude, what a hell of a night.
I responded with the same text I always send in these situations, a text that seems repetitive but is sincere.
“Looking forward to the next time our paths cross homie, take care of yourself”
Comments